Patchorra

[ porque só eu tenho a patchorra de escrever tal texto, quando foi pedido um feedback sobre o treinamento ]

First, I must confess it’s not the easiest things on Earth for me to be doing this training. It’s no secret that I still don’t know what exactly I want for my life – in every sense, especially professional -, and I still don’t know if I am capable of pulling this off. However, a lot of the things we’ve been talking about during the sessions have been extremely important. It is the first time that I’m talking about teaching in a fun and easy-going way, without the whole theory crap that I study at college (that are so far away from the real deal), or the stressful and competitive way that it was discussed in previous trainings. In my other experiences in the educational field, everything was pretty radical and there was this huge list of “what to do” and “what not to do”. And one of the things that made me stick to this training in particular was your way of saying “there is no right or wrong”. This is such a relief, for someone who is so insecure about it all, like I am. There are no illusions or no dreams of perfection, just plain reality.

Of course, that can be scary – especially because I’m very green and have absolutely no idea about how to teach or anything in that area, but still, no matter how frightening, the experience will be helpful for other ones that may come on my way. Sure, every day I freak out a little, mostly when I think about the things that I must elaborate and work out in my own personality – like leaving my pride and insecurities aside in order to become a good teacher (which is, again, something I’m not exactly sure I can be). But, like many of my friends have been telling me since I started this training, I can’t really say that I don’t like something, or that I’m not good at something, if I’ve never actually try it before. It’s that “se joga” thought that is on my head right now. Of course it takes time to accept such a thing, and obviously it’s very very VERY scary, but for the first time ever, I’m willing to leave all my defensive side behind (I’m tired of being so defensive) and face this, no matter how hard it may be.

So – sorry about the Oscar speech that is about to come -, I must thank you for giving me the opportunity of trying something new, and for the incredible material we’ve been discussing. It’s been very helpful and clarifying, and it led to a lot of reflection (which was, I think, your goal from day one). I’m sure this will be always on my mind when I’ll need to discuss about how a teacher should be.

And also, sorry about the whole “I’m about to freak out” thing. If I am in that point, it’s because there is some effect in my life. To quote David Bowie, “Ch-ch-ch-changes”. There’s no better word to describe what simple three days of training have been doing to me. So, yeah, thank you.